So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
time to smoke my breakfast
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Two words: nipple clamps
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