you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize