SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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