im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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