looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
