So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
