Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
and you fell through a lawn chair
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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