Her vagina should come with caution tape.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
then he tried to convert me to islam
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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