Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
