yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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