its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
