Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Me too!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
