ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
