Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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