i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
