his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
