Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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