btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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