he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize