I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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