i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
