remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
