Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
