Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
