i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
