I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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