Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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