Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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