Can i not drive my cunt home
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i think i have two assholes
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
