Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
