I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
