we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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