There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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