yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
