Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
