I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
God, I missed his penis.
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