I love black thongs
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
