his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
