Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
