guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
