I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
