dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
ttyl tear gas
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
