You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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