He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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