Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
