I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
