And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Randomize
