Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
