We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
