this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
