I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
