Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
