Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
