WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
