some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
it glows. i had to have it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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