If i come over, it means nothing
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
