I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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