We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
